


Waiting

by Ashikawarin



Category: 19天 - Old先 | 19 Days - Old Xian
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-13
Updated: 2017-01-26
Packaged: 2018-09-08 08:51:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 11,146
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8838223
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ashikawarin/pseuds/Ashikawarin
Summary: This is kinda like my first fully written thing.It's mainly about Mo Guanshan and his future. How he's going about it and also about how He Tian and the people around him helps in with it.I'm actually quite horrible in summary so.I've read it through a few times but I know there are still tons of mistakes.To whoever who will read this , please tell me your thoughts and comments . I would love to hear it.Thank you so much for giving this a chance!I kinda have the continued part in my head , though I'm not sure if I should write it out >< I don't even know if this is alright





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> As mentioned, this is kinda like my first ever thing. I hope you guys who read it, enjoyed it! Thank you so much ! 
> 
> Do leave me a comment if there's anything on your mind !

Ding, ding, and ding as the schools alarm rang. Soon the clear voice of a female teacher broke through.

"Good afternoon, would Mo Guanshan please report to the principal office now. Thank you".

I lifted my head up from the maths equation I was trying to solve. My eyebrows rose as I thought to myself ' I am damn fucking sure I didn't get into any fights or trouble the past months. Hell it's only the second day of this month!!?? '

"Guanshan, you heard the announcement, start making your way there."I spared a glance at my buddies sitting beside me as I slowly rose from my seat.

"Yeah yeah I'm going now." I mumbled. Damn it, as I leave the classroom I kept thinking of what might have gone wrong. Was I at the wrong place at the wrong time again?! 

As I made my turn into the hallway I have gotten so used to in the past years. Just one more year and one and a half more semester and I'll be free from this damn place. I rose my hand to knock on the semi translucent door leading into the principal's office. As the door cracked open, I saw a young female teacher ushering me in. I knew that teacher, she's been awfully nice to me ever since she saw my mom and me leaving the ICU few months back. Ever since then, she have grilled me to do better in my subjects, to stop being one of the school's bad boy. She reminded me so much about my mom before she fell ill I couldn't bring myself to go against her. Honestly, it felt great to have someone not giving up on you, to look at you and look past everything you've done. That's when I decided I'll work hard and graduate this damn place. The door clicked shut. The principal's voice rang out.

"I am pleased to see that your grades and attitude have improved. Miss Tan have told me, you made her lunch as a token of thanks for providing a lift for your mother and you back at the hospital." The principal said as he leaned forward and interlocked his hand before placing them on the table.

“Ah, I'm sorry was that out of regulations? I didn't mean anything, it was really just a thanks for the lift." I replied as I absentmindedly rose my hand to the back of my head.

"Don't be so tense, I know most of the time you are in here for disciplinary actions but not today. I have great opportunity for you. There is an application being place out in school systems. A world renowned gourmet school has an opening for a small group of students. It's located in the main city. You'll have to move if you are accepted. Grades are the least of their worries, they want to know the range of your cooking abilities. Miss Tan and your homeroom teacher Mr Lee have discussed and they are more than willing to be your guarantor for your application process. And I am willing to give you this new chance, I'll write a testimonial for you to justify your application. So the question is, would you like to try?”

I stared at him, trying my best to process everything he just said. A gourmet school? A new chance? My guarantors? Main city? Opportunities like these were not in the vision of how I saw my future.

"My, for the first time ever since you've been in here, have the cat got your tongue?" The principal joked

"I . . . I . . . I couldn't possibly ask Mr Lee and Miss Tan to do something like that for me. They have done enough to help me in the past years." I stuttered, I tried to calm my breathing, this is insane but yet I wanted it. I have wanted things before but nothing like this.

"Nonsense, Mr Lee and I are your teachers. We will never have done enough, not till you are working. Guanshan this is an opportunity that probably won't come knocking twice. You have to seize this moment." Miss Tan said as she places her hand on my shoulder. I turned to stare at her, in her eyes was confidence. Confidence in me, something I never really had. The same confidence I see he has as he walks around the school and orders me around.

“She’s right opportunities like this do not come knocking twice. If you are committed in cooking and want that as your future career, it's now or never again. Guanshan, I'll give you some time to think. But application closes in 3 days’ time. Come back within" I didn't let the principal finish. I wanted a new life not only for myself but for my mother. She's all I have now and vice versa. She's done everything to provide for me. It's my turn.

"I want it! I want to do this! I don't know if I'll succeed but I want to try. I'll give it my best shot! Please principal, send in my application." I practically screamed. Locking eyes with the principal, is this what confidence feels like? The strength to fight for something we want?

I saw a smile broke out on both of their faces. The hand on my shoulder gripped me harder, as if encouraging me. I felt a smile slowly forming on my face. As I left the office, my thoughts started to wonder at what I should be doing. What dishes should I try to make myself stand out from the millions of application that will turn in. I took the turn and walked down the hallway leading to my classroom. That's when I heard the commotion, a voice rang through asking 'where is he, isn't he back yet?' I looked up and saw him standing there. Cladded in his full black jersey leaning on the door frame like he's some model.  
"Hey, what is going on? Move out of the way He Tian." As I stepped forward, giving He Tian a light shove. A wide smile spread across his face as he reached out to sling his hand over my shoulders.

"Redhead! Let's go for lunch! And what took you so long at the office?" I stole a glance at the clock in the room, it wasn't even close to lunch time and this punk wants me to skip class.

"No, lunch not till an hour later. Go back to class man." I felt his hands tighten and next thing I knew I was slammed into the wall. His face awfully close to mine. I looked back at him, I felt us sharing the same breath as we both breathe out, our noses just inches away from one another. I could see his eyes darken, his hands still on my shoulder as the grip started to ache. We've been like this before, this close to each other, I do notice when his eyes ran through my face as if taking in the details on mine as I do on his. More often than needed I would think of him and what got us to where we are. But more importantly, what's this feeling between us. I don't know, I don't have the courage to ask him either. Before he could say another word, Mr Lee placed his hands on He Tian's shoulder.

"Head back to class, you can have lunch in an hour time. I heard they have great fish ball noodles today." Mr Lee said with a smile on his face. He always looks like that. Happy and kind. But if you look carefully into his eyes. He's challenging him. He's not afraid of He Tian. And somehow, He Tian actually listens too.

He Tian slowly backs off away from me. He spares a glare at Mr Lee before turning to me. I refused to look at him, I couldn't. I turned and made my way back into the safety of the classroom with Mr Lee treading behind me.

"So what did the principal wanted? Are you in trouble? What did you do?" As my friend went on and on about what I might have done wrong. My mind was already wondering what documents I needed, how I’ll be heading down to the main city. What I'm going to make. I felt a light shove and before I could ask my friend what, a hand slammed down right before me and a face lowered to mine.

"Redhead, what were you thinking avoiding me during lunch and making me wait at the school gate for the past hour?" I felt the killer gaze on me. I took a breath and stared right back at him. Him, He Tian, the boy who I kept thinking about on certain days. The boy who stole my first kiss and somehow invaded my mind. The boy who defended me against She Li and just when I thought that was a break through, he went exactly back to tormenting me.

"Leave me alone, I have more important stuff to handle." Just as I grabbed my bag ready to bolt. His arm reached out to block my way. He grabbed my arms and started to dragged me away from my table.

"You bastard, you sure have a lot of guts refusing me like this, I said that you are coming home with me. That means you are, now stop acting out like a little child." He said , the grip on my hands tighten, in the distance my friends are yelling at He Tian to let me go. I started to struggle, I needed to get away from him. I don't want to hold onto to this any longer. I won't be able to handle the thought of him letting go completely, I couldn't bring myself to see him throw me aside and abandon me just like my father did. I just couldn't. Before I even realised it, I have said it out loud.

"What?" He Tian came to a stop. He turned to face me like I have just said the weirdest thing. He doesn't let go. The warmth that seeps through his hands pours into mine. This warmth that I have grown to need. I locked eyes with him. Something must have shown in my eyes, as he takes a step back. A frown formed on his face. I looked away, took a deep breathe to clear my head. I know this isn't the right place to say this but I couldn''t stop myself. The principal's words echoed in the back of my head.  
It's now or never again. He's right, if I don't speak up now when will I have the courage to speak out once again.

"I need you to leave me alone. Not just today, but from today onward. I have things to do, more important things to do then just playing your house maid. You saved my life from She Li. You helped me, I thought things were going to change between us. I thought we had developed something better. I thought the time we spent with each other have changed the way you see me, but it hasn't. Nothing have changed, you are still treating me like shit. I thought I was your friend. Maybe more. But you just seem to be playing around. And I can't afford to play around anymore. You know that." I was surprised that I could say all of that without shouting my head off. I was calm and composed but I could feel myself breaking.

"You are my friend, and this is what friends do for each other." He said as he took a step closer to me. I could see his body tensing, like a predator ready to pounce on his prey. But today, I’m not the prey.

"Is it? Does friends treat each other like maids? Does friends order each other around? My friends have never asked me to bring food or cook for them well after school knowing that my mother needed me home. My friends have not on impulse and in a fit of anger broke my nose. That is not what friends do. You know that, I see the regret you hold every time you hurt me. He Tian you need to open your eyes and control yourself. Not everything will go your way. I am done being your maid or lapdog. More importantly, if this is the way you treat your friends then maybe I’m done with that too." I said as I ran my hand across my hair, I know what this feeling is. Its sadness and disappointment. Was it in myself or him, that I didn't know. 

I waited for him to fill this silence across the hallway. But he doesn't. The other students who were making their way home stopped to see the commotion that was happening. It's quite rare to see us together arguing without getting into a fist fight. From the corner of my eye, I could see Jian Yi making his way to us as he opens his mouth to speak Zheng Xi covered it and said to him that this is between He Tian and me. I thought to myself that it would be nice to have a relationship like theirs. Someone to count on, to rely on. Someone to love. I looked back up to see He Tian staring at me.

"I don't understand what you are trying to say Redhead." He said seriously. And that was it. He doesn't understand what I am saying. He doesn't understand what's going on between us.

"That's the problem, you don't understand. You don't understand that you can't use brute force to enter someone's life. You can't treat them like shit. You need to treat them like equals, you need to see me as your equal and not someone lower then you. But more importantly, you don't understand yourself and what you feel. So let me tell you this He Tian, from the day you forced that kiss on me till the day you saved me from She Li, I have looked at you in a different light. I looked into the crowd and all I see is traces of you everywhere. But what about you? Do you know why you always want to be around me, why do you always come looking again?" He looks at me in shock, the frown on his face fades, and his lips thins. His grips on me loosen. From what I said or the shock of it I would only know much later into the future.  
I took that chance to slipped my hands out of his. I took a huge step back and gripped my backpack tighter. From the end of the hallway I saw Miss Tan and Mr Lee headed towards our direction. Their conversation stopped when they see us both. Their face morph into concern.

"Until you understand what you feel about me, till you understand what's going on between the two of us, please just leave me alone. I don't know your life, the life you try to hide so much from me. But you know mine pretty well, you know that I have to graduate and get a job to support my mother. I have been given a once in a life time opportunity to change the course of my fate. And I intend to seize that chance no matter what it takes. Thank you for saving my life back with She Li. But I have things I need to do and it doesn't involve going to your place every day. I'm sorry." I backed away from him just out of his arm's reach. He looks at me and I could tell that he is thinking. A frown form on his face once more, as he took a step towards me. Mr Lee's voice spoke.

"He Tian, I know you and Guanshan have something special going on, but if you truly are his friend like you claimed to be. You'll know that in a friendship there is a time to let go and let them dive into their destiny. Let your friends shape their future for themselves, as you should." Mr Lee said as he placed his hand on He Tian's shoulder, as if trying to stop him from coming towards me.

I took one last glance at He Tian and I turned away. Stalking off in the opposite direction of him towards the school's back gate. I half expected him to call out, to beat the crap out of Mr Lee. But he didn't. I didn't know what expression he had on him, I couldn't bring myself to turn back for one last look. He's a year older than me, we are in different wings of the school compartments. It's a very likely possibility that if I tried I could easily avoid him altogether.

Days turned to weeks and before I knew it.  It's been about a month since that argument in the hallway. He never came to disturb me and I did everything to avoid going to places where he would be. I stayed in class during lunch break or I would hide out in the library reading recipes for the final assessment. I was amazed that I made it to the finals. My classmates have been more then helpful. They would come up and offer me words of encouragement. Sometimes they would offer me new recipe books to extend my research on. In return I cook small portions of food for them to sample. But as the day turned to night, I would find myself wanting to offer a portion of the new food samples I have created at home to him. Sometimes I would find myself wondering towards his apartment. More times than I could count, I would sit at the park near his apartment looking towards his windows as he flickers the lights on. I missed him, I knew that. But I wouldn't return, I needed to focus. 

As the time dwells to nothing, I was all packed and on the train well into the city for the final assessment. We were to cook a 3 course meal. I laughed at myself when I realised I have found the perfect recipe. For starters it was fried dumplings with special stuffing and my self-created sauce, with that I would serve them my specialised beef stew. Lastly for dessert I would serve them pudding. It was a set of food I used to always make for him. As the final assessment came to a close, I headed back to the motel I rented. I long to check out the city but I couldn't afford it. I couldn't even afford to pay for 2 more nights for the official announcement of results. I would be leaving the first thing in the morning.

There was the early results before the official, I headed to the office, signed my name and took the envelope that contained my results. I didn't want to fail. I've made it so far. Granted that if I failed now, I could probably get a decent job at a diner. But that's not my goal. That's not the future I want. I want the future where my mother could afford to wake up and see the city skyscrapers. Where I could wonder out into the city night without worrying if I could afford to pay for anything. I didn't open the letter till I was home. My mother hands on my shoulder, I ripped open the envelope. She tightens her grip and tears started flowing down her face. Before I knew it, I started crying as well, I turned and fell into my mother's embrace. The letter wrote that Miss Tan and Mr Lee have been accepted as my guarantors. That if I worked every holiday break in the school's run restaurant that would cover a portion of my fees. And also by the end of the month there would be an apartment available in the schools compound and that if I were to accept their offer, I would need to move in by then. 

"I'm heading to school, I need to let Miss Tan and Mr Lee know." I shouted as I slipped my shoe on. I felt the adrenaline coursing through me, I broke out into a run. This, this is the feeling I have been searching for such a long time. Happiness, pride and joy. I could feel my life moving forward. As I ran into school, I bumped straight into my principal.

"I could tell that you've been accepted. I am so proud of you." My principal said. A wide smile spread across my face. I stopped where I was and bowed to him. He proceeded to tell me where both the other teachers will be. Without a second thought I dashed off. I turned the corner into the wing that I've avoided the past month. I barged through the hallway and slammed open the door leading into the classroom Miss Tan would be in.

"I hope you have a good reason on why you are disturbing my class." She said sternly. She looked at me and as her eyes travelled down to my hands. She let out a gasp. 

"I was accepted. By the end of this month I'll be able to move in the apartment in the school." I could see in her eyes, the amount of pride she had for me. For the first time, I haven't let her down. She stood there, still. Clasping her hands before her as tears form at the corner of her eyes. She smiled. A smile spread across my face. As I turn to apologise to the class I had interrupted I realised it was his class. And he was there standing at the back row. He's gaze right on mine. And a smile that matched mine was spreaded across his face. I flushed. I mumbled my thanks to Miss Tan and said that I'll look for her later and dashed out claiming the reason that I had to look for Mr Lee. My heart was beating so fast, but I'm 100% sure it was because in that smile of his was pride and joy on my behalf.

The school semester came to an end in a few days. With the end of the school semester also came the end of the month. My mother and I was done packing our small home apartment. I had packed some food into separate containers for the classmates who were sending me off. I had on a separate account cooked the 3 dishes that brought me this opportunity. I made them hoping that he would come to send me off at the train station. But I wrong. He wasn't at the station.

As we closed the door to our apartment and returned the keys to our landlord. Mr Lee helped us loaded our items into his car. Miss Tan tapped me on my shoulders and ushered me to an alley just a small walk away from my house. There he was, cladded in his jersey leaning against the brick wall, with a cigarette in his hands. I felt my heart squeeze, he came. But from the looks of it, he wasn't heading to the station with me. I dug into my bag pack and took out 3 containers. 

"This 3 dishes got me my offer in the school. I made them for you. Here." I mumbled. He reached out to take them. The silence returned. It felt suffering, there was things I wanted to share with him but I couldn’t bring myself to. Before I could step away, he leaned in and gave me a peck on my cheeks. He whispered into my ears.

"I love you, I know I haven't treated you right. I have no good reason for it expect for the fact that I didn't know how. But I'm working on it. I'm working things out between my family, when that is done I'm going to find you. You said that till I understand what's going on between us, I should leave you alone. So the next time we meet you had better stop running. Cause I'll be a changed man. All the best in school, I can't wait to eat your food again." He backs off, reached his hands out and runs it through my hair. I reached out to hold his arm. I mustered the amount of courage I've built and lean towards him. As my lips hovered over his, giving him a chance to back away and forget me completely. He leans in to seal the gap. It's nothing like the first time, it was soft and passionate. We broke apart, one last look and I turned away. Before I made the corner to enter the car I turned. Tears spilled out of my eyes as I spoke. He Tian looked right at me and slowly tears streamed down his face. He rose his hand as farewell not trusting his voice. God my voice is cracking as I spoke.

"I'll be waiting."


	2. Reunion

School was exciting. It was one of those moments in life where I’ll never forget. For those 6 years, life was great. School was more than welcoming. I’ve made friends, we rally behind each other and help whenever we could. Lessons were challenging but with each passing class, I learnt something new.

My mother and I stayed in a small apartment within the school’s compound. I worked in the noodle restaurant ran by the school. The head chef was like a father I never had, my fellow colleagues were like my extended family. They taught me everything they knew. They didn't judge me for my background. My mother worked in a bakery nearby. Just a short 15 minutes walked away. The boss was this lovely old lady who cherished my mother’s hardworking background. Her family had moved out of the country thus she treated my mother like her own. It was a very truly a different life.

In school, I hung around a smaller group of friends. We would head to an open kitchen together to test out new dishes. We talked about life after our school years. I found myself looking towards the future as a goal and not a distant dream. I did well in school. I was constantly on the directors list. My mother was so proud of me. Ms Tan and Mr Lee were as well. They would visit us from time to time. They kept me updated about the happenings back in my hometown. I came to understood why Ms Tan pushed me so hard. She was like me, back in her school days. Rebellious and uncaring, that was till her parents got into a horrible crash and didn't survive. She suffered through the pressure of society, she proved everyone wrong. My mother treated Ms Tan with love and in time, she became family. She brought her boyfriend to visit my mother, we celebrated every special occasion together. 

Mr Lee brought his family on visits, he had two adorable twins. I felt the need to be a better role model. I didn't want them to follow in my footsteps. I would take them out for snacks and treated them my specials. During the year end, we would all come together and watch the sun rise. The twins would cuddle by my side and we would all sleep till the next day. That was what family felt like. And yet I was still searching for more.

During my fourth year in school, I dated a girl. She was everything anyone ever wanted. She was smart, funny, attractive and outgoing. And yet, we didn't end well. We broke off after dating for a whole year. It didn't felt right, she could tell. She told me that I'm obviously waiting for someone. That I would constantly look into an open crowd as if I was searching for someone. I confessed to her, I probably was. In every crowd I would find myself spotting for him. 

Me and him, we stopped contacting each other during the second year of my university. Ms Tan and Mr Lee updated me about him. They said he stopped being an ass. He came to classes and aced them. He spent hours in school clearing questions he couldn't answer. The last they heard of him, he was headed for an engineering business university. But where, he didn't say. I was excited for him, he's fighting for his dreams. He's a smart guy, he'll probably make it. I found myself wanting to know, if he was looking for traces of me in his crowd.

But all good things comes to an end. My school life was coming to a close. As my 6 years slowly dwelled into 1, my mother’s time was running out. The doctors said she couldn’t live with me much longer. The city wasn’t the right place. She took her time to go around town and making sure that life without her would be an easy transition. The old lady helped as well. Together they sold away the bakery and invested the money they earn. I made the final year in school my best. I topped my class and graduated with honours. I wore the graduation gown into the hospital, my mother burst into tears. The old lady held my hand and told me not to worry. That everything will be fine in time. We took a family photo together, my mother and me, along with the old lady, Ms Tan and Mr Lee. I have that photo framed in my current apartment. It brings me great joy every time I looked at it. I promised my friends I would keep in contact with them, although most of them were leaving the country to pursue their careers overseas. Before the final day where we would all part ways, we partied till we didn’t know what was up or down. But when the sun set came, every single one of us was packed and ready to move on. I have cleared out the apartment and was ready to hop onto the train bring me to the next town away from the city. The head chef offered me a cooking position in his neighbourhood restaurant. It was in his family way before he was born. But he had no children and couldn’t pass it on, till I came along. I was beyond honoured, of course I took up that offer. My friends bid me good luck and made me promise, that I would offer them a free meal when they came to visit. For the past 6 years, we’ve walked together on the path towards our future. But now we were all at the cross roads. Ms Tan and her now fiancé were by my side. Mr Lee on the other end of the town driving upwards into the rural village ferrying my mother. We said our goodbyes with the promise that we will see each other again.

I open the door to my apartment, switched on the light and flopped down on my sofa. What a day it was. Zhang Zheng Xi and Jian Yi came by the restaurant today, they came in and kicked up a huge fuss about how I lost contact with them after all those years. But in all honestly, I was still exchanging messages with Zheng Xi. We kept each other updated about what was happening since the moment I left. He came by the city when I was still in school, sad and broken saying how Jian Yi vanished without a trace. I housed him in the apartment back then, we searched everywhere we could. I told him that I’ll keep an eye out for Jian Yi while I lived in the city. It was not till a few months ago he called me saying Jian Yi appeared out of nowhere. Well, I did invite them to come over for a visit, but man they were noisy.

‘Welcome! Table for 2, sirs?’ the waitress called out to the new customers that just stepped into the restaurant. I was about to turn around and shouted welcome when the awfully familiar voice rang out across the store.

“ISN”T THAT RED HEAD IN THE KITCHEN!!” I stopped whatever I was doing. ‘Oh god is that who I think it is?! I thought to myself. I dropped the cloth into the sink and made a beeline for the door. There, standing right before me was this two boys, well men now, staring right back at me. They didn’t look much different. Zheng Xi looked the same, just taller and a stronger body build. Jian Yi on the other hand, had his hair grown out slightly. He stood about quarter a head shorter then Zheng Xi, was it just me or did he grew thinner? Before I could tell them to pipe down because this wasn’t their store and there were people around. Jian Yi leapt towards me and gave me a bear hug. Zheng xi came up and ruffled my hair. “QUIT IT!” I shouted as I struggled to escape. 

“But it’s been so long! How could you not have kept in contact with me?! Instead you decided to text Zheng Xi? I thought we were friends!” Jian Yi shouted into my ears. Oh man did he think I was deaf? 

“Jian Yi, let him go, besides you were the one that chose to vanish and left without a single trace. How was Guan Shan supposed to keep in contact with you? Besides, he helped me look for you back then.” Zheng xi said, ever so calm. Somethings never change. I manage to escape from Jian Yi clutches and ran back into the safety of the kitchen.  


“Go take a seat, I’ll make you guys something, so just shut up! There are other people here!” I said as I slammed the door to the kitchen. They stayed till closing time and waited for me to be done. I offered them some drinks and we sat to catch up. Jian Yi refused to let us know where he went. It was a family affair he said. I get it though, his family wasn’t all that normal to begin with. Zheng Xi told me what he was studying and how he’s been for the past 6 years. It’s different when you speak in person then through messages. They told me that Jian Yi appeared out of nowhere one night in Zheng Xi’s apartment. They argued and fought all night about what had happened and why. Jian Yi promised that whatever had happened is over and it won’t happen again. That he was here to stay, they moved in with each other and Zheng Xi sister was more than happy to know that her brother found someone he loved. Jian Yi asked about my mother, I told them she had to go. Despite parting ways with her, they told me that I looked happier than ever. I confessed to them, that I was happy but not completely. I asked if they knew what was happening with him. Do they still keep in contact? Was Jian Yi’s disappearance related to his brother? Did he broke off with his family? Most importantly, do they know where he was?

Zheng Xi mentioned that he saw him at the airport a few years back. He was leaving for America, to further study. He left the country, didn’t say when he was coming back. Zheng Xi apologised for not telling me, he thought it would be best if we both could move on. I didn’t blame him. I wanted to move on, but I couldn’t bring myself to. He said he was coming to find me. I told him I would be waiting, I still am. I wondered if he was ever going to come back. I offered them my apartment if they needed to crash somewhere tonight. But they mentioned that they were taking the midnight train back. Secretly, I was kind of glad they rejected my offer. Seeing them together reminded me of our time together back then. Even though it’s been so long, I could still remember our final conversation by my old house clearly. I remembered the way he smelled and dressed. And how both our faces were covered with tears. I closed my eyes and fell asleep on the sofa with the sweet memory of that last kiss we shared. When morning came, I was getting ready for work when my phone rang. It was Zheng Xi. 

“Hello, what are you doing calling me this early?” I said as I slipped on my shoes.

“Oh god, have you seen the news? Your dad, he’s out of prison.” Zheng Xi said with the most serious voice I’ve ever heard.

I always hated when things were finally feeling right something would go south. About 2 years back, my mother did mention that they were moving him into a cell in the city. It felt like no matter where we moved to, his shadow was always around my mother and me. I chose to ignore that piece of information, back then I thought to myself that he was never getting out of prison. I didn’t care which prison he was living in. But now, I’m concerned. He could easily make his way to this town and find me. I didn’t want to see him. He’s not welcome in my life anymore. I panicked. I told Zheng Xi that I would call him back, I had something to settle. I called Mr Lee and Ms Tan, I needed help. They told me to calm down, Mr Lee would drive up to the rural village to check on my mother and made sure they were safe. Ms Tan had to stay in school but her fiancé would come to check up on me from time to time. They promised that they would not let him ruin my hard earned life. I told them I’ll be on guard as well. As the day passed by, he never showed up. I thought maybe he really had forgotten us. That he has decided to move on with his life and know that if he stayed away from us, we would be happy. Zheng Xi and Jian Yi dropped by more frequently saying that they enjoyed the food here, but I knew they were concerned about me. Zheng Xi would come by after school and did his work here. Jian Yi would drop by after his work to pick him up. Ms Tan and Mr Lee dropped by when they could to check up on me as well. There was once where they all came together on the same day. The whole store was so pack and noisy and it was then when I insisted that they stop coming by just to check up on me. I told them I would be fine, yes I panicked at first but I will handle this. But deep down, I was really grateful to have people to count on. As they left, they all offered me a place to hide if he ever came by. I told them I’ll keep it in mind. My restaurant colleagues told me that they will hold the line if this man ever came. That they will never let someone come and steal away their chef. My heart was warmed by their thoughts.

One night, someone came by the store and I was pleasantly surprised. It was Ai Zhan, a friend back in school. He flew to America to work as a chef but he’s back on a short holiday. He was impressed with a new dish I came up with and insisted that I should try launching it in the store. The whole restaurant had a meeting and we decided the date for the new dish. I spent the remaining months leading up to that opening perfecting my dish. Ai Zhan would be back in the country on the opening night, I promised him that when he returns the dish would have changed. I am proud to say it has. But like I said, when everything seems to be going right something would go wrong. On the opening night, the place was packed with all our customers. The queue felt like it would never end.  


“Where is Ai Zhan? If he doesn’t come soon, there won’t be anything left for him to eat. And we are about to close!” I grumbled to my fellow chef. Just as I finished saying that, our head waitress barged into the kitchen. 

“Chef Mo! Someone is outside the store kicking up a big fuss about wanting to see you! He looks an awfully lot like you. The waiters are outside stopping him from entering the store but he have beaten up one of them. I think you should leave before he comes in and drag you away.” She said as she grabbed my arm. One of the other chef told me to leave and that they could handle the remaining of the customers as well as close up. I was shocked, it’s been so long since he was released from prison and of all night he came tonight? I was slowly being pushed out of the back door by my colleagues when we heard a loud crash out front.  
“Kid, you are picking the fight with the wrong person. Now the rest of you move aside.” The man joked. As if beating up a kid was fun. I pushed past the head waitress and headed for the main door. I am not going to run away from this.

“Hey! Back off!” I shouted as I shoved him away from my waiter. 

“Grab your things from the restaurant, and head home now. Bring him to a clinic. Go, I’ll be fine.” I said to my colleagues. They helped my injured waiter and proceeded back into the store. But my chef and the head waitress stayed on. He walked up towards me, he was awfully close and somehow after all those years, I was still shorter then him. He looked down on me and I felt like a little child again. Helpless and weak only that this time it wasn’t my mother I was trying to protect.

He used to be a great father. We owned a family restaurant and he would teach me how to cook while my mother took care of the cashier. However, he kept hanging around the wrong crowd. He allowed gang members into the store to do their dealings. And soon our restaurant became a gang hangout. It was filled with crude men who made passing on younger ladies. Slowly, the people around the neighbourhood got too afraid to visit the store. My mother and I hardly ever attend to the store anymore it didn’t felt safe. But as the time went by, home became unsafe as well. My father came home drunk and tipsy. When he was in a bad mood, he would throw and break things around our apartment. But when he was in an overly horrible mood, he would take it out on my mother. The bruises on her body was so obvious that she wouldn’t dare to leave home. I tried to defend my mother, but I was small kid. I couldn’t do much. He broke my nose once when I stood before her to block off his attack. He would leave home after every fight and come home the next day apologising and insisting that it will never happen again. But of course it did, and with each passing time it got worst. There were times when my mother would lock me in my room and not let me out till he was gone. During those times, I hid under my bed and tried my best to tune out the cries of my mother struggles. It wasn’t till I was older when I came to understand that, my dad wasn’t only beating her but he was doing much worst. It was only during a police raid when we finally understood what truly happened. He was in debt and needed money. He offered the store as a gathering spot for gangs and in return they would help him pay off what he owed. But all that didn’t matter anymore, he was being locked away.

“Son, you have become such a big boy now! Running your own restaurant.” He said as he towered over me. Was I really smaller then him or was his presence scaring me. I stood up as tall as I could. Son was what he called me. But he didn’t have that right. He lost the right the day he broke my mother.  
“What are you doing here? Go away, we want nothing to do with you.” I spoke with as much confidence I could gather. I could feel his intense eyes staring right at me. But no, I shall not be afraid of him.

“What did you say punk? I’m your father, it’s time to show some respect.” He said as he reached out to grab my hair. 

“You’ve done nothing to gain my respect, leave before I call the cops for assault.” I directed that right at him. But instead he chose to ignore me, he looked past me right at my head waitress. She was a lovely young lady and something told me he sees that too. I stepped into his vision, I refuse to let him ignore me. Although I think that she could have beaten him up any day. See, she’s working to pay for her final exam in fighting school. After which she will be qualified to teach fighting to people. He didn’t stand a chance. But I didn’t want her to get involved with my issues. But before I could say something to get his attention, I felt myself being shoved back and before I know it, I crashed into one our outdoor sitting furniture. Ouch, how long has it been since I got myself into a fist fight. I was kind of dazed, but I made myself stood up. You can’t be on the ground to win a fight. I heard Ai Zhan voice shouting from a distance, my head waitress shouting for the customers to leave and my chefs threatening him that they will call the cops. I heard him laughing in the distance as he made his way towards me. I felt my collar being grabbed and I was pulled forward.

“Maybe I should break your nose again to show you who’s in charge. Ah, but you’re a chef now, I think I should go for your hands instead.” He said as he punched me in the stomach forcing me to crotch down slightly. Looks like prison only made him stronger and less loving. But what was I expecting. I was just hoping that this would end fast so I could head to a clinic to get my wounds checked. I prayed he would leave after beating the crap out of me, I hope that my friends would not be harmed and that my customers would still return after this mess. My vision was slowly clearing as he was lifting me up by the collar. From the corner of my eye, I saw Ai Zhan running towards me. Beside him was a tall figure, cladded in a formal black suit. That figure passed Ai Zhan a bag and dashed up towards me. I heard the distant voice of that figure, shouting for people to back off. As my father drew his hand back ready to swing down and break my nose. I waited for the impact that never came. That figure had grabbed my father’s hand preventing it from touching me. When he spoke, I felt the fear in me slowly being washed away. Oh man his voice, it was strong and clear. It sounded deeper than before and if it was any way possible, it sounded even more confident.

“Don’t touch him.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello !
> 
> Thank you to everyone who have read the first chapter and is willing to read this chapter!
> 
> Thank you to everyone who have left a Kudos and comments!
> 
> The comments have been very heart warming !!  
> I am sorry if my replies are a bit weird. But I really am so thankful!!  
> Thank you all so much!  
> Habanera,Mowarisa,Liv
> 
> Here is the second chapter of this work.  
> I hope everything is alright, and please any further comments is more than welcomed!
> 
> Thank you so much for giving this a chance!  
> Thank you to every single one of you for leaving Kudos!  
> GrumpySiinter, tsukkiiy, HamanoEmichan, Addicted_94, Justsomeoneonhere, Mowarisa, LuckyClover, and otaku_lynxie as well as the 18 guest!
> 
> Most importantly, a major thank you to a tumblr friend who read this first and gave me the courage to post this.
> 
> I hope this chapter was alright!


	3. Future

“I know it’s here somewhere, give me a minute.” I said as I tore through my shelves to find the first aid box. It’s been awhile since I had to use them. I finally found them tucked in the small corner of my room. I turn to face the raven haired boy casually laying on my bed.

“Hey, don’t lie on stranger’s bed, its rude!” I commanded as I attempted to shove him off. I was slightly embarrassed that he was in my room. I mean, I haven’t actually gotten around to cleaning it for a long time. The only place I worried about the most is the kitchen, the rest of the apartment could wait till I have time.

“But you are not a stranger, so I don’t actually see a problem.” He said as his signature smirked formed on his lips. Ah, after all these years, he’s still the bastard from high school. Despite the fact that he now wore a suit to work. I rolled my eyes, not bothering to give him a reply. I made my way out of the room and into my living hall. Ai Zhan was there flipping through channels. Was it me, or he was slightly flushed and stiff. I guess if I was in his situation I would be awkward too. I pushed away those thoughts as I made my way to the sofa.

“Get out of my room, or I am not treating those wounds for you.” I shouted to He Tian still lying on my bed. Without waiting for a reply, I got to work by sorting out the items I would probably need. Before I could look up to call out to He Tian again, I felt the sofa dipped in weight. He was awfully close. I could feel his legs brushing against mine, I couldn’t help but blush slightly. He placed his hand on my knees and waited for me to do the rest. As I got to work cleaning his wound with medicine, I could feel his intense stares. He was looking at me, I’m sure of it. I’m also very sure that Ai Zhan is staring at us as well. I turned slightly to catch Ai Zhan eyes wanting to mentally apologise for making him come over. But as I turned, Ai Zhan stood up from the sofa and made his way to the door, announcing that he needed to smoke and will be back soon. Yeah, we all know that was a lie. 

I didn’t want to be left alone with He Tian, at least not right now. I was scared of what might be different. I was worried that maybe after all those years, things have changed. Before more of my inner thoughts could wonder. I felt his hand left my knee. One hand slipped through my hair and the other cupped my face, forcing me to look at him. He pulled me towards him and I felt him brush his lips against mine. As if he was asking for my permission, wondering if it was okay. I leaned towards him and sealed any remaining space that was separating us. Our first kiss was horrible, it was forced and a joke. I felt horrible and disgusted by it. Our second kiss was bittersweet, the love that we had to convey to each other as we were both parting. I thought nothing could be more gentle and loving then that kiss ever would be. I was right, because our third kiss was heated. We feasted on each other not wanting to part for air. I felt myself clinging onto his well pressed top, wanting to pull him even closer to me. While he kept one of his hand steady at the back of my head pulling me towards him and his other grabbed my arm wanting to leave his mark on my skin.

We finally pulled away from one another after what felt like forever. It was supposed to be a tender moment right after our kiss. But the first thing I blurted out was, “oh god the windows are open what if Ai Zhan saw that?!”

He Tian stared at me for a moment and burst out laughing. I could feel my face turn redder by the minute. Ai Zhan chose that moment to walk back into the house, announcing that they had to leave before it got too late. He Tian ruffled my hair and got ready to leave. They weren’t staying the night. They had their hotel booked in the city, He Tian had an early meeting the next day and it was simply just nearer from the hotel than my place. I walk them to the door and bid them farewell. As they made the turn towards the lift, I saw him running back towards me. He pressed a paper into my chest, wink and took off again. The paper wrote, meet me at this café tomorrow evening. Call me if you get lost. I flushed, what was he thinking, are we some high school children that needs to arrange meet up through paper notes? Regardless of my self-ranting needs, I felt a smile spread across my face. This was going to be a good night.

I was overly nervous as I made my way into the café. He had arrived an hour earlier due to the fact that his meeting ended early. So there he was, just casually sitting down in a corner booth. As I approached his table, he looked up and flashed me an award winning smile. My heart started beating faster.

“What drink do you want, I’ll get it for you.” He offered as he waved for the waiter.

“Just a cold latte will do, thanks.” I said nervously. We sat in silence for a short while after our drinks were served. Honestly, I didn’t know where to start or what to say but before I could attempt to make the first move, he started talking. 

“I’m really glad, you seem well after all those years. I wanted to apologise for not keeping in contact with you.” He said with a smirk, although his smile didn’t reach his eyes. Without thinking, I reach across the table and grabbed his hands. I didn’t know how to convey it through words but I had hope that a small touch would be enough. I gave his hands a squeeze. In return, he placed his hand over mine, we stayed like that for a few minutes. 

“Tell me, about you, and these past years that have gone by. Where have you been, what have you been doing?” I said almost as if pleading him to tell me. To let me know that he’s still the man I was waiting for. 

********************************************************************************************************************************************************

As I watch him left in the car, I turned away, wiped the tears off my face and quicken my pace home. Home, it had lost its warmth the day Guan Shan said he wasn’t coming over again. In my hands were the last set of meal he was ever going to cook for me in a long time. I had better cherish every bite. I had so much things to settle, I want to be a different man the next time we meet. I’ll need to strike a deal with my family and get my grades up. I hope the teachers would cut me some slack. I mean, I was by far quite a smart student.

School was quite a breeze, the lessons were never that hard. My family made sure I was smart even if I wasn’t much use to them. My brother was awfully understanding when I was trying to strike the deal. I figured that after all those years of bickering and fighting, he was still that man who taught me to be strong and saved me from the river bank. After all that time, he was still protecting me. He helped me got out of my insane family’s problem. I didn’t even had to worry that much. Father didn’t see me as anything useful, as long as I didn’t get in his way or disturb my brother in his business. I was free to go. I finished up school and decided that engineering business was what I wanted to pursue. After taking various test from different universities, I was offered a position in America. Originally, I was reluctant to go. I didn’t want to leave China, it was closer to him and he would be easier to find. But I know that he’ll never forgive me if I threw away my shot. 

On the day of departure, I saw Zheng Xi at the airport. From the look on his face, I could tell he was shock to see me there. Oh well, it’s not like he will tell anyone but Jian yi. That was what I thought. I mean I wasn’t wrong, he didn’t tell anyone. What I didn’t know, was that he was in constant contact with Guan Shan. If he had told Redhead I was leaving, I wonder what Redhead reaction would have been. My time in America was spent well, I ensured that my grades were always above average. I graduated perfectly fine. Not a super outstanding student, but not too low on the spectrum either. Being able to speak another language gave me an edge over others when I was applying for jobs. Work was fine, it was boring at times but that was adult life. As time went by, I started falling back to my old ways. I hang out and partied all day, I had almost forgotten why I was in America. Almost, that was till I met Ai Zhan at a bar. He was the invited guest cook and my friends had invited me to join the tasting. I wasn’t paying much attention to what was being serve that was not till Ai Zhan served my table fried dumpling. One bite was all it took, I stood up and grabbed Ai Zhan.

“Where did you learn to make this?” I practically shouted at him. However, Ai Zhan wasn’t fazed by my sudden outburst. He smiled and told me his friend taught him how to make it. That was how we got to know each other, he updated me on what have changed around his life. Ashamed was what I felt, I came all the way to America to have a better life so that I could return to china one day and proved to him, I was the right man to love. Yet here I am, in a bar partying and ignoring all my responsibilities. It was time to buck up, he was advancing in his life, having graduated with honours, inheriting a restaurant. I promised I would be a changed man the next time he saw me. I don’t go back on my promises. I worked hard and climbed the work ladder that was when the opportunity came. My office had made a deal with a high profiled company in china and was now setting up a work office there. I jumped at the chance to work back in my home country. Not because I missed it, but I missed someone there. As I finished my long flashback, I tighten the grip on Redhead’s hand.

“I’m back in china for a while to check out the new office space, but I’ll be heading back to America for about a month before returning. It’s awfully near to you place, beware I’m going to keep dropping by the moment I started work.” I said with a smirk. Redhead was obviously trying to make his ‘I’m annoyed at you’ face but it was falling because his smirk was forming into a smile. We chatted till it was closing time, after which I had walked him home. He offered me his place to crash that night. I told him, if it wasn’t in his bed I am not going. His face was as red as his hair, I had wanted to burst out laughing. But I stopped myself midway as I heard him whispered fine. It was going to be a good night.

********************************************************************************************************************************************************

He Tian left early the next day, he had to pack his luggage and catch his flight. I bid him a safe flight as he left my house. My day was going to be a long one. I was needed down at the police station for statement and report. Apparently, my father got into trouble elsewhere after he left the restaurant. And now I need to go and clean up the mess. Before bailing out my father, I made him promise to never cause my mother or me trouble ever again. I had to help him, I know my mother would be overly upset if I had left him in jail to rot. I got him a studio apartment in the next state. I told him, I’ll give him a certain amount every month. If he ran out, well it’s time he went to look for another job. I warned him if he does not comply with my terms, I would not bail him out and to top that I would call for a restraining order. It was rough terms, but he accepted them. Well, it might be rough but it beats jail time. All the to and fro of this case took a long month. I was taxed out, I can’t believe after everything he had out us through I still had to help him. 

Thank god at the end of the month he was coming back. I missed him, sure I’ve missed him before but this time it’s different. He wasn’t just coming for a visit, he was coming home. I drove down to the airport to pick him up. What I didn’t tell him was that we weren’t heading back to my apartment. Instead we drove upward to a rural village, all the way hearing him complain about how instead of bring him into a 5 star love hotel, I was bring him into some rural village. I told him to stuff it before I threw him out of the car and left him stranded. After a long while, his complaining died down. Don’t let it fool you, he was just sleeping. When I arrived, I felt overly tempted to just leave him sleeping in the car while I went into the house. I actually did leave him there but my mother made sure I understood that I wasn’t allowed into the house unless I took him out of the car. Betrayed by my own mother, the old lady wasn’t even on my side. And she’s never even met He Tian before.

“How are you feeling Mrs Mo? I heard about your condition, the air here is definitely much cleaner then in town.” He tian asked with his most angelic smile I have ever seen him put on. Some part of me felt overly creeped out by that. Cause at times, that smile hid an ulterior motive. But there was that other part of me that knew that when he directed that smile at you, he wanted you to feel loved. My mom did look better, colour was back on her face and she was breathing normally. Back then, the doctor had said that the air wasn’t clean enough for my mother’s weak lungs. We needed to move her away from the bustle of the city. If not, she wasn’t going to last much longer. That was when the old baker lady and my mom decided to move out here. Now they plant fruits in their garden, they still bake bread but only for the small population of this village. I saw my mother broke into laughter at something He Tian had said, it warmed my heart to hear her laugh. I took our luggage up into the spare guest room, leaving them to catch up. As I was making my way down, the doorbell rang.

“I’ll get it!” I shouted as I walked towards the door. Turns out, I didn’t have to get it as Miss Tan had the keys to the house. And she was knocking just for the sake of it. The first person she saw was He Tian, she made a beeline for him and gathered him into her arms for a hug. I stared at that scene in disbelieve. I was standing right at the door and I got ignored. Mr Lee came in shortly after and went straight for He Tian as well. Ignored by my entire extended family. Fine, I’ll just head to the kitchen and help the old lady with her bread. Maybe I could make myself a sandwich. But I couldn’t, just as I was about to make my way to the back Miss Tan exclaimed.

“I’m getting married! And I was wondering if Guan Shan is willing to be my bride’s man.” She turn with a wide smile spread across her face.

“WHAT?” I announced in shock. And once again, my shock was ignored. Before I could state that I obviously couldn’t do it. And that I will only embarrass her, she had already turn to He Tian inviting him to the wedding. My mother walked over to me and gave me a tight squeeze, from the look of her face, I knew there was no way I was getting out of this. Finally when all the excitement died down, I went to the back with the old lady and together we cooked up a feast. The dining table was a tight squeeze for everyone, but no one complained. I could feel the body heat radiating from He Tian as he sat beside me. Conversations over dinner was filled with laughter and jokes. I looked around the small table we sat on and knew that my family was complete.

It was about a week later, before we headed back to the main town. Within that week, the movers I hired had already finished their jobs. My old apartment was cleared out and I had moved into a slightly bigger house. He insisted that we should buy the king size bed instead of a single each, seeing how he’ll never want to be left alone at night. I really told him to piss off. And as usual, he just ignored me. So yes, we got the king size bed. And now every morning when I rolled to my side all I see is this raven haired boy, with an angelic smile.

It was going to be a good life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!
> 
> First of all, thank you to the lovely users who have left me comments and kudos once more for this chapter  
> Major love for all of you!  
> apocalyptis, Yva_Daraxerxes, GrumpySiinter, tsukkiiy, HamanoEmichan, Addicted_94, Justsomeoneonhere, Mowarisa, LuckyClover, and otaku_lynxie as well as 38 guests!!
> 
> Thank you so much for the comments!  
> Habanera- Thank you for paying attention to such details >////<  
> Yva_Daraxerxes-Thank you for the comment on my writing, i always felt my writing sounded very childish. I hope my writing style haven't change much over the chapters.
> 
> Here is the final chapter for this story, i hope it isn't overly rush and it was alright.
> 
> I hope to be able to write more stories, not only in the fandom.  
> But the lack of an idea makes me feel overly upset.
> 
> I am open to anyone dropping a line or a quote or something, and maybe i could try and work a story out of it.  
> (I am really not that good at that actually but I figured no harm typing it here)
> 
> Once more, a major thank you to a tumblr friend who read this first and gave me the courage to post this.
> 
> Thank you all so much! It's been overly fun and exciting to have done this.
> 
> Thank you all so much!
> 
> I hope this last chapter was not a disappointment.


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